I accidentally discovered an online shrine

I received a friend request that reminded me of this story. I had met Lily after starting university. We shared a class, and she began asking me to eat lunch with her after it. At first the routine seemed harmless, but it gradually became clear that she wanted to isolate me from other classmates.

One day I asked another student if I could add them on social media. Lily reacted sharply. By the time I got home, she had found my account and sent me a friend request, despite having no friends in common with me. I did not know how she had found my surname. I assumed she had searched through university pages and tried to ignore the uneasy feeling.

She began messaging me constantly and commenting on nearly everything I posted. We became acquaintances, although I never considered us close. She continued arranging lunch after our shared class, while otherwise we rarely spent time together in person.

My girlfriend happened to have the same first name as Lily. That clearly upset her. She made comments suggesting that my girlfriend should choose another name and joked that the name did not suit her. Around the same time, Lily began hinting that she had a crush on me. I was not interested, but I did not know how to confront her without creating a larger problem.

Near the end of the academic year, Lily asked me to walk with her instead of going to lunch. She led me away from the other students and began talking about how much she would miss me. When I tried to leave, she kissed me without warning. I got away from her and hoped that distance would make the situation end.

It did not. I later started dating a man, and Lily reacted badly to that news. I was active on Tumblr, where I occasionally wrote about my life. One day, a blog I followed received a question containing phrases copied from my personal profile. The question asked the blog owner to analyze what kind of person would write those words. It was not anonymous, and the linked account immediately made me suspicious.

The account was using a false name, but it was clearly Lily's. It was designed in bright colors and filled with posts about me. She recorded things I had done, things I had said, and details she had learned both online and in person. She described our ordinary lunches as romantic dates and wrote about the kiss as if it had been mutual. She quoted lyrics from my favorite song and referred to an anonymous love letter I had received, using the same wording as the letter.

There were many hostile posts about my boyfriend. Lily wrote that he did not deserve me, that he did not understand what he had, and that his lack of jealousy proved he did not love me. She also complained about anyone else I spent time with. The blog was not simply a diary, it was a record of an imaginary relationship that she appeared to treat as real.

The strangest part involved someone she called her best friend, Steven. Lily had never mentioned him to me. She wrote about him as a separate person who understood her and always looked after her. Then she posted an image copied from my own page and claimed that Steven had sent it to her. I realized that Steven was another version of me. In her fantasy, I had been divided into two people, one as her perfect best friend and one as her destined partner.

She had an audience. Followers answered her questions about our supposed relationship and agreed that my boyfriend did not deserve me. Lily had created a fictional version of my life in which she was the central character and eventual hero. I read only part of the archive because it was too disturbing, and I could not tell how long it had been active.

I confronted her by message. She said nothing about the blog and simply changed the subject, even when I pressed her. Soon afterward, the account disappeared or was renamed and hidden. I stopped spending time alone with Lily, but we were still forced to see each other regularly. Knowing that she had been collecting information about me made me afraid of what she might do next.

She tried to seduce my boyfriend. He told me immediately, and the attempt only made him uncomfortable. When that failed, she flirted with several of my friends. She eventually dated someone I used to live with, but sent me messages throughout that relationship saying she would rather be with me.

Lily also tried to damage my reputation. When I attempted to distance myself, she spread rumors that harmed an opportunity I had worked hard to obtain. I did not know what else she had done behind my back, and I began to believe that quietly ignoring her was safer than provoking her.

After I graduated, I stopped responding to most of her attempts to meet. I also stopped posting on accounts she knew about. Even then, she occasionally referred to information I had shared elsewhere, information she should not have known. Her ability to keep finding details about my life made me think she was still monitoring me.

During our last serious conversation, Lily asked when I had realized I was queer. After I answered, she began talking about wanting to be a man for me and described fantasies involving us. We were not close, and we had barely spoken for a long time. When I told her to stop, she sent photos of herself and began rapidly repeating private things I had told her about my past.

She was not merely quoting me. She spoke as if my memories had happened to her. It felt like she was trying to absorb my identity and replace her own history with mine. I stopped answering her completely and eventually removed her from the remaining account through which she could contact me.

I thought she might finally move on. Instead, she sent another friend request. I left it unanswered because deleting it might encourage her to send another one. I still do not know how much of my life she has watched or recorded.

To the woman who spent years obsessing over me, stalking me, fetishizing me, and harassing me, let us never meet again. The fantasy life you built around us exists only in your mind, and that is the only place where you will find me.